Bryant_LoveLeadership3D I intended to address this in my newly released book LOVE LEADERSHIP: The New Way to Lead in a Fear-Based World, but there simply was no room in book #1. 

On parenting, I often times speak with friends who are literally guilt tripped by their parents to do X, Y or Z with their lives.  In other words, the parents nurture the child (as they should) from an early age to have a purpose (still good).  The only problem is, the purpose belongs to the parent in question, and not the child (not good).  The parent is literally living their life, and life frustrations, through their child.  And when the child does not "perform" as the parent dictates, there is hell to pay from the child.  Often this goes on well into adulthood.  YD2H9595-2

And so it is a no-win situation. 

Outcome A: when the child does not do what the parent dictates then the child has disappointed, or worse failed, in the eyes of parents.

Outcome B: when the child does exactly what the parent dictates, and even excels in the area of parental focus (i.e. become an attorney, doctor or whatever), the child is often unhappy, unfilled, and often even depressed, well into mature adulthood.  The child is simply not pursuing "their" purpose in this world, and as a result, is not comfortable in their own skin.


Remember that, respectfully stated, you don't owe your parents anything, beyond basic respect and basic human decency and loving consideration.  You did not ask to be brought into this world, and you did not get a vote. They (your parents) got busy and you appeared.  The point here is only that having you was their decision, not a shared decision, and they have a responsibility to raise you. They are not doing you a favor, and you do not owe them a false debt. To make it plain; this is what parents are supposed to do. They don't get a Nobel Peace Prize for simply doing what they are supposed to do — nor do they get a veto on your hopes, desires and dreams either.  Consultation yes. Input yes. Veto power, or worse to dictate, absolutely no.  I will go one controversial step further.  You are not really "their" child.  In the literal sense, you are God's child, and they are the Stewards placed in a position of trust, by God, to raise your gentle, loving and giving spirit into a mature adulthood.

I am reminded of when my mentor and personal hero, and HOPE global spokesman, civil rights icon Ambassador Andrew Young was being confirmed as America's first African-American United Nations Ambassador by President Jimmy Carter at the State Department.  Someone had asked Young's dad during the ceremony, "gee, Mr. Young you should just be so happy and proud of your son, yes?"  The elder Young responded, "What? If he wanted to really be something he would have become a dentist." he elder Young, of course, was a distinguished and very accomplished dentist.  Ambassador Young's loving parents did not think much more of his decision, at the time, of hanging out with this young fired up leader named Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (smile).

Live your unique an amazing life my friends, starting now.  Let your loving parents, live theirs.

Oh..and go buy LOVE LEADERSHIP today, helping to propel it into the Best Seller category!

Onward with HOPE

John Hope Bryant

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